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Handling Pride


James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance M. Messina, Ph.D

You know that pride is stunting your personal growth when you:

Think that you have nothing left to work on.

Get angry at the realization of personal growth as a lifelong process.

Get angry at God for sending you a calamity or disaster to deal with.

Become restless and impatient with others who are involved in their own quest for truth and personal growth.

Can rationalize why you no longer need help, support, or understanding from others in your life.

Believe you have all the answers to your life's quest.

Believe you have no need for a spiritual life or spiritual development.

Believe that you are invincible. You are ready to deal with whatever comes your way. You are sure that whatever it is, it won't be overwhelming.

Believe that you have no need to take preventive measures to protect your physical and mental health.

Believe that all this "renewal," "wellness,'' "prevention,'' "support group,'' "treatment'' business is for the birds, not for you.

Believe that you don't need anyone in your life to mess it up or make it less than perfect.

Become obsessed with protecting yourself, your goods, and your family from the onslaught of the "real world.''

Take yourself, your spouse, your family, and isolate them from the temporal or secular world.

Become picky in choosing people with whom you will associate.

Begin to take yourself too seriously.

Find yourself turning against anyone who questions your beliefs or way of life.

Become stuck in a stereotypic way of thinking and problem solving.

Become resentful toward those who ignore you.

Believe that God has a new partner: You.

Act like you are the only one who has ever accomplished, succeeded, or achieved your level of success.

In order to bring immoderate pride under control, people could:

Develop a sense of humility and modesty about their abilities, skills, and strengths.

Develop a more realistic picture of their place in the cosmos, universe, world, society, work place, and home.

Do an honest self-appraisal of their successes, achievements, and accomplishments, recognizing the part that God and others have played in their lives.

Accept that life is a continuous journey on a path with a variety of twists and turns. There is never a time when they can sit back, confident that they have already survived the major hurdles and obstacles.

Recognize and accept the fact that God is never done with them. Just when they think they have made it, God may have a new challenge or crisis waiting for them.

Accept their own humanity, which involves making mistakes, weakness of resolve, weakness of the flesh, fallibility, lack of strength, emotion, anger, disappointment, confusion, dismay, and other ``normal'' responses to the unknowns in life.

Remember from where they have come and recognize that their past is their best navigational map as they chart their course.

Become less selfish, self-centered, and egotistical; instead, become more humble, giving, and "other'' oriented.

Shed their masks, which covers low self-esteem, a lack of self-confidence, and a sense of insecurity.

Become open to the variety of options and paths available for personal growth and wellness.

--James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance M. Messina, Ph.D

Read the whole article: Tools for Personal Growth